Incoming! New Year, New Project

Yes, it’s 2016. I don’t make new year’s resolutions, for a number of reasons, but I do like to set myself targets and challenges for the year, and this year is no exception.

Back in 2008, I ran a project entitled ‘The 29 Days of February’, and with 2016 also being a leap year (I was busy with other things in 2012), it seems like a good idea to resurrect the project, at least fundamentally.

I toyed with the idea of publishing a new story on-line each day for 29 days, but it simply isn’t going to happen, and besides, I rather liked the original project concept better, whereby I simply published a long short story in pamphlet form and only made it available for 29 days as a means of celebrating the ‘extra’ day in the month. It might seem like an odd use of a bonus day, but like the amp that goes up to eleven, 29 days is one more than 28. Or something.

To use a music industry analogy (I’m fond of those: literature is, after all, the new rock ‘n’ roll), the project takes the ‘limited edition’ concept in a slightly different direction. To unpack that: bands and labels release limited edition pressings in the hope of generating a buzz, a clamour, and selling out a set – usually comparatively small – quantity of units quickly. It makes for good promotion and when demand exceeds supply, there’s an almost instant future collectible, and there’s a certain appeal in owning something scarce.

With the 29 Days of February concept, the number of units in circulation is determined by the market, meaning that while it can’t ‘sell out’ in the first three days, if only six copies sell in the 29 days the product is available, then only six copies will exist – ever.

I vowed never to republish ‘A Call for Submission’ after it was deleted on 1 March 2008, and I’ve adhered to that promise.

This year’s ‘29 Days’ project will be published as a back-to-back A5 saddle-stitched pamphlet (hopefully) and an ebook. The chosen formats mean it will be affordable, accessible and immediate. And why not?

Full details and relevant links to follow…

A is for…

Way, way back, I began work on a book with the working title of The A-Z of Internet Porn. The project fell by the wayside, but not before I had amassed a fair few entries (boom boom) and outlined a large (oo-er) percentage of the entries (fnarr) the projected book would cuntain. Maybe one day I will return to the project and finish it off (snicker), or perhaps I’ll attempt to flog the concept to a publisher for someone else to take in hand (huh huh), but in the meantime, while it’s languishing on my hard-drive (nyak nyak) alongside the completed novels Exiled in Domestic Life and Rusty Bullet Wounds and the never-ending work-in-progress that is my post-apocalyptic romance novel So Dark All Over Europe, I thought I might shove (arferoo!) a few extracts up here as and when the mood so takes me… Enjoy!


A is for….


It’s a common situation: you’re out clubbing or on a night out with some gal pals and, forgetting you’re wearing something strappy, start dancing rather too wildly (well those 2 for 1 Bacardi Breezers are hard to decline) and suddenly – oops! – your tit pops out. You’re mortified, naturally, and put it away as quickly as possible in the hope that no-one’s noticed. Alas, no such luck: one of your mates had their camera of phone out and just happened to snap at the crucial moment.

The good news is that most mainstream social networking sites like Facebook remove pictures that are in any way ‘adult’ (clearly being off your face and spewing on the pavement is for kids) so should the pics that could ruin your reputation in a matter of hours make it up there (and the chances are that they will), so the chances of them being up for long and seen by the half of the world that didn’t see them in the first few hours won’t get to.

The bad news is that there are people on-line who go crazy for these kind of pictures. And of course, if you’re remotely famous, it’s even worse, because there are paps absolutely everywhere, with their lenses in your life, following you on holiday, to the shops, to the toilet…

Is it porn, though? It’s debatable, it has to be said. But we live in a celebrity-obsessed, sexualised culture in which one man’s poison is another man’s meat and one man’s yawn is another man’s porn…



And if you’re loving my work, there’s more of the same (only different) at