Author: christophernosnibor

Writer, ranter, purveyor of postmodern fiction; 50% of the Clinicality Press editorial team, editor at Aural Aggravation, contributing editor at Paraphilia Magazine, and music reviewer for Whisperin' and Hollerin' and Shout4Music. Sleep is for wimps.

He’s a Cliche: Christopher Nosnibor Talks with Bill Thunder

christophernosnibor2 Comments
So we’re on the eve of the publication of Bill Thunder’s debut novel, the hard-hitting detective story ‘THE BASTARDIZER’ and it’s a book I for one am quite excited about, not least of all because it’s one of the craziest takes on genre fiction I’ve ever read. Bill’s a busy man, but he’d agreed to see me for half an hour, suggesting I swing by his office. An hour before I’m due to arrive, I receive d a call suggesting a change of location. Things have been kicking off – it’s an everyday occurrence in Bill’s life – and he needs to escape and perhaps lie low for a few hours. He suggests a bar that’s fairly quiet and off the beaten track.

When I arrive, Bill’s already there. He’s like one of his own characters. His face shows he’s lived – you’d probably describe him as ‘ruggedly handsome’ as long as you don’t mind three-day stubble and eyebags. He sends me to the bar to get the drinks before we start. He’s drinking Jack Daniel’s – doubles, straight, no ice – and is already on this second when I show up. Yes, he’s a hard bastard and he can handle his drink. He is, as he writes in his book, ‘a cliché.’ And all the cooler because of it.

I put the drinks down and begin my interrogation.

CN: So what inspired ‘THE BASTARDIZER’?

BT: Inspired? I wouldn’t say ‘inspired.’ It kinda implies it’s fictive.

CN: Prompted?

BT: Better. I had some downtime. I thought I’d try my hand at writing. Drawing from my experience in some ways made it something of a busman’s holiday in some respects, but crime fiction’s big right now and so much of what’s out there’s really insipid. I thought ‘I could do better than that.’ So I did.

CN: That’s a hell of a claim, but I can’t really argue. It’s a belter of a book. Which current crime writers do you particularly object to, do you consider to be the worst offenders in the production of insipid crime writing?

BT: Most of them, frankly. Despite my line of work, I enjoy a good detective novel. Trouble is, there aren’t many about. More accurately, there aren’t many recent examples of good crime fiction about. Tess Gerritsen’s fucking awful. Lee Child’s gash. They’re terribly written and really, really far too long.

CN: There’s certainly a fashion for longer books these days, and I can’t see an obvious reason for it myself. I mean, in that people have less spare time and have short attention spans. They’re downsizing everything or even dropping physical formats in many other areas – music, for example. Minimalism’s hip again. I can’t believe that publishers are truly trying to push the idea that a huge books represents ‘value for money.’ What’s more, most of my favourite books are shorter, certainly under 300 pages. That short sharp shock…

BT: Yeah. They’re all putting out these doorstop books, 500 pages plus. Even kids books! I mean, J. K. Rowling…

CN: Don’t start me….

BT: Ok. But I think economics is definitely a factor. Not necessarily value for money per se, but publishers aren’t willing to spend the money employing editors who’ll be strict and insist authors cut their manuscripts down. And most writers tend to waffle. Writing something short and punchy takes discipline.

CN: I saw your manuscript in draft stages, and whatever work was required, length was never an issue. Would you say you have discipline?

BT: Hell yeah!

CN: How long did it take for you to write the book?

BT: Well, I had the idea a fair while ago, but was far too busy. When I set myself the task of actually getting it all down, it took six weeks from start to finish. There were a couple of weeks spent on each round of edits, but not much. Ten weeks in all.

CN: The great pulp authors used to churn them out at a phenomenal rate…

BT: True. In that sense, I guess you could call me a method writer. As I said, I can’t abide the current crop of crime authors and much prefer the older ones – Spillane, Chandler, McBain, they really could knock ‘em out. And the speed of writing in many ways dictated the style, they’re intrinsically linked.

CN: So it’s fair to say that on this basis you’re not wholly averse to genre fiction?

BT: It is. Learning the formula does require some degree of skill. It’s also necessary to learn the formula in order to fuck with it.

CN: And you fuck with it royally in ‘THE BASTARDIZER.’

BT: Kind of you to say so. I do, it’s true.

CN: Would you care to talk me through that?

BT: Not a lot to say. It’s clinical. It’s brutal. It’s life. It’s postmodern, post-CSI crime fiction. With an absurd plot-twist.

CN: About that…?

BT: Some readers will no doubt hate it. But it serves several purposes. One, I had to wrap the book up, and fast. Two, I’m merging fact and fiction throughout the book. Sometimes it’s blatant, sometimes it’s more subtle. But I wanted to really bring that to the fore in the finale. Third, a lot of the current crop present their crime fiction as being somehow ‘realist,’ then completely lose it in the final twist. I mean, Gerritsen’s ‘Body Double.’ Who the fuck’s gonna buy that ending? But the reviews all go on about how it’s a tense thriller, rather than a tense thriller (it isn’t, it’s flabbily written and would have worked better without the romance chick-lit shit in, thus cutting about a hundred and fifty pages) with a wanky and unbelievable ending. I wanted to take the piss out of that by coming up with an even more far-fetched ending. Finally, there’s a lot of great crime fiction with ridiculously far-fetched endings. Spillane’s ‘The Body Lovers’ is a favourite example of mine.

CN: The elements of fact and fiction, as you say, do blur, but there are points where there are a lot of ‘factual’ elements that might appear fictive.

BT: That was the plan. It’s true: truth is stranger than fiction. All the medical stuff, that’s based on fact. Again, people have got accustomed to technical elements following CSI and all that sort of thing. Obviously, I’m taking it to the next level.

CN: And the Michael Jackson stuff..?

BT: Fact. The Michael Jackson character wasn’t called Michael Jackson at first. I changed the name a few days before he croaked. I considered changing it again but decided against it. So I started researching the phenomenon, the near-exponential rise in Google hits immediately after his death. That’s all fact, and my own research. It was too good to waste.

CN: Are you worried that it may provoke controversy?

BT: No. Controversy’s good for sales, isn’t t?

‘THE BASTARDIZER’ by Bill Thunder is out on 17th August on Clinicality Press as a Clinicality Press Pocket Edition priced £4.99



And if you’re loving my work, there’s more of the same (only different) at Christophernosnibor.co.uk.

 

Strong Feelings Expressed with Strong Words: ‘Paper Cuts’ by Constance Stadler

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Constance Stadler has been nothing if not prolific of late, producing a clutch of chapbooks that have demonstrated her remarkable capacity to weave magical and often potent word-webs. Impressively, quantity has not been at the expense of quality. If anything, her words grow stronger with each publication as she continues to perfect her craft.

So when she says that ‘Paper Cuts’ is her strongest work to date, she’s absolutely right. This isn’t mere hyperbole, but emblematic of her acute awareness, not just of herself, but of the world around her. It’s this awareness that fills her poetry and imbues it with a rare humanity.

What’s most apparent with Stadler’s latest offering is that it sees her truly pushing herself as a writer. This self-challenging manifests not only in terms of the expression of deep, heart-felt emotions, but in terms of her range of expression and voice(s). Not that she is ever less than magnificently eloquent: the fierce intellect that is Stadler’s trademark informs every word in this collection. Indeed, it is this intellect and the aforementioned awareness that enables her to glide seamlessly between densely-weighted epics such as ‘Bed and Breakfast,’ an intricately detailed piece that is more like a painting executed with the smallest, most painstaking of brushstrokes, to brief snapshots, the likes of ‘Fallows.’

However, as ever with Constance’s writing, she’s at her best when she’s channelling the purest of emotions, and there’s much love and much anger here, in almost equal measure. As titles such as ‘A Love Dismembered’ indicate, there’s a forceful passion behind both, and through this she reminds us just how close opposite feelings really are to one another, and how readily joy can become pain, love turn to hate, tenderness to violence. Moreover, she expresses with a rare clarity how these conflicting emotional states not only co-exist, but can be experienced simultaneously. It is this that places this collection of poetry in the realm of not just true art, bur great art. The reader cannot take these poems a mere observer: no, to read Stadler’s words is to feel. This isn’t simply art: this is life.

‘Paper Cuts’ is out now as a free e-book on Calliope Nerve Media.

Plagiarism? Pastiche? Clinicality Press Push it with ‘The Bastardizer’

christophernosniborLeave a comment
So perhaps I’m rather biased where this book’s concerned. After all, I was one of the first to adopt ‘clinical brutality’ as a mode of writing, and I’m not wholly disconnected from all that Clinicality Press does.

Nevertheless, I knew that I had in my possession something special when I first saw an early manuscript for ‘The Bastardizer.’ Really, it packs some clout from the very start, and the plot’s got more twists and turns than I care to count. Yet there’s a lot more to it than plot. Indeed, it’s all in the telling. Like ‘Columbo,’ it’s not about getting to the end, it’s the circuitous route that makes it really interesting.

Crime fiction is huge right now, and while I really dig the ‘classics,’ the pulp masters like Mickey Spillane, much of the contemporary stuff coming through is painfully cliché, and, worse still, ball-achingly long. Tess Gerritson and her ilk really aren’t a patch on McBain or Chandler. And while Ellroy has the clipped narrative down brilliantly, I’d much rather have seen ‘American Tabloid’ done in half the word count. The simple fact is that I’ve always much preferred the punchier pulpier stuff. Under 200 pages with really succinct narrative and snappy dialogue was always what did it for me.

It was reading Stewart Home’s ‘Slow Death’ that proved to be a pivotal moment for me: that a book was a revelation to me, in that it showed how it was possible to be at once clichéd and innovative. Insofar as parody and pastiche are concerned, Home’s early works scale truly admirable heights. So when I saw ‘The Bastardizer,’ I knew it had to be.

While perhaps not as trashy in its style as Home, or as superabundant in its use of cliché, Thunder’s debut at once reinvigorates and exhausts the well-worn detective / crime fiction genre, presenting a classic pulp first-person narrative with a contemporary and deeply misanthropic twist. Thunder doesn’t make any attempt to be a likeable or sympathetic narrator, but given the series of loathsome characters he comes face to face with, his stance seems justified, and in comparison to these other characters – even the good guys, including the intelligent but foul Roger Gash, he’s positively chummy.

The concept of clinical brutality emerged in the late ‘90s. It wasn’t hip to get factual in the middle of an action sequence back then. But this is the post-CSI generation. ‘The Bastardizer’ pushes the idea of incorporating technical biological detail to the point of absurdity, and yet delivers its mockery with a completely straight face. I daresay this will confuse a few people.

Similarly, I daresay the whole ‘Michael Jackson’ element of the story will prove problematic for some. Yes, a central thread of the story sees Thunder on the hunt for a missing man called Michael Jackson. Much dark hilarity ensues. What makes Thunder’s narrative unusual – apart from the attention to the most curious of detail – is his tendency for digression. In fact, it’s often easy to get carried away on the epic and often rather bizarre diversions and forget about the plot. This is perhaps as well, as there are points when the plot is clearly secondary to the action and the narrative form, and the ending comes as nothing if not a surprise. Yes, its far-fetched, but no more far-fetched than, say. Spillane’s ‘The Body Lovers.’ Of course, that’s the whole point. It’s designed to be ridiculous just as the extreme violence is designed to shock. What’s more it, succeeds.

Mediocre crime fiction it ain’t. If the prose was any more hard-boiled, demolition companies would be buying up copies of this book and using them as wrecking balls. I’m not kidding when I say this book should be huge. The question is, is the world ready for it?




‘The Bastardizer’ by Bill Thunder is out in August as a pocket edition on Clinicality Press, and will be followed by a trade paperback edition Spring 2010.

Wot a Fine Pear! A Juicy Example of Rebranding for Idiots

christophernosniborLeave a comment
I make no bones about the fact I’m rather a pedant, and a stickler for things being correct. The misuse of words (and punctuation) sends me absolutely loopy, with ‘random’ used to mean ‘a bit unusual’ being a particular pet hate of mine.  Not without good reason, I don’t think. I perceive the spread of incorrect use as being emblematic of a wider and deeper issue in society, that the ‘dumbing down’ that’s affected every part of our culture and society is equal parts ‘don’t know’ and ‘don’t care.’ Often, in pointing out that something is misspelled or an incorrect word used, I’m told that ‘it doesn’t matter’ or that ‘no-one will notice’ or that ‘people will get the meaning.’ Maybe they will: maybe they won’t. Why take that chance? Specific words have evolved with specific meaning in order that we can communicate complex concepts with clarity and without ambiguity.

One thing that’s really been grinding my gears recently is the proliferation of rebranded alcoholic beverages made with fermented pear juice. Yes, perry. In order to sell it as a trendy drink for semi-literate bozos, the manufacturers have taken to advertising it as ‘pear cider.’ It’s abundantly clear from both the Brothers and Magners adverts that their target markets are young, cool, ‘irreverent’ and above all stupid. But more than anything, the promotion of ‘pear cider’ annoys the hell out of me simply because it’s wrong! Fermented grapes produce wine, not grape beer or grape cider. Fermented honey produces mead, not honey wine or honey cider. So, perry, being a drunk unto itself is perry.

I despair, and wonder what else could find itself being renamed in order for fuckwits to get a grasp on what it is so they’ll buy it thinking it’s something new and exciting. Perhaps rebranding bitter as ‘dark lager’ is the way forward (and yes, I appreciate that despite having the same basic ingredients, the two are completely different on account of lager typically being brewed using bottom-fermenting yeast strains and bitters using top-fermenting yeasts and being brewed at a higher temperature). How about making pipes fashionable by calling them paperless, filterless, never-ending cigarettes? Could cream become ‘extra-thick milk’? Pavements come to be called ‘foot roads’? How about ‘hand-socks’ in place of gloves? Personally, I think its time to relaunch vinyl as ‘large hard-format MP3 discs.’ The undigital revolution starts here!

And if you’re loving my work, there’s more of the same (only different) at Christophernosnibor.co.uk

Critical Acclaim

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Well sales and the adulation of a legion of fans is all very nice, I’m sure, but critical acclaim is where it’s at. That’s generally because the latter is, more often than not, the route to the former.

It’s always interesting to see what critics – and readers, for that matter – make of a piece of work, and with a book as unconventional and challenging as ‘THE PLAGIARIST’ this is amplified. So it’s gratifying to see that Paige Lovitt at Reader Views managed to get a handle on it and make some quite complimentary comments in her review over here: http://www.readerviews.com/ReviewNosniborThePlagiarist.html.

World domination must surely be only a short way off now…

The Pleasure of Pain of Being Chronically Misunderstood

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Do you ever feel as though you’re gravely misunderstood by the majority? Feel frustrated by the complete inability of the everyday person to get even the smallest grasp on what you’re on about what you’re about? Of course you do: these feelings are common to most people at some time, ad is one of the reasons people who share not only opinions but levels of intellect gravitate toward one another in the main. It’s how society works.

As a writer, I experience these feelings of disconnection quite acutely. I tend to submit work to zines and publishers in waves, and as a consequence tend to receive rejections in waves, which punctuate the steady trickle. It doesn’t bother me per se: after all, it’s all material for my book of rejections that I will one day undoubtedly publish.

Some of the rejections I receive are quite nice: well-written and considered. One that landed with me a few weeks back suggested that the paragraphs were disproportionately long for the story. Ok… it also criticised the fact that ‘the story has to rely far too much on the reflections of the narrator.’ Given that that was the point of the piece, I found this a rather odd criticism, but at least it showed that they’d read it. On the other hand, the ‘not what we’re looking for’ and ‘sorry not for us’ rejections aren’t simply impersonal and generic, but strike me as being pointless and lazy. I know these people are busy, but really… again, the problem I find is that too few publishers – even of free e-zines – are willing to take risks, and many are excessively prescriptive in what they are ‘looking for.’

No, this isn’t a sour-grapes rant about the volume of rejections I get in a competitive market. The point is that I write the kind of stuff I like to read, largely because too few publishers are putting out the kind of stuff I like to read, and I’m quite sure my tastes aren’t so niche that I’m a market unto myself. Moreover, I suspect that a lot of the things I do intentionally are often misconstrued, and perceived as ‘errors’ or shortcomings rather than virtues.

Returning to my point about gravitating toward the like-minded, it’s fair to say valuable lessons can be learned from spending time out of one’s selected circle, however (even if it’s only to be reminded why you gravitate toward the people you do). As such, it’s worth taking the risk of being misunderstood from time to time. By posting my Michael Jackson conspiracy piece in a place where it would be read by those unfamiliar with my work, I’ve been able to infiltrate a new audience. Have I gained a new readership? Doubtful, but I’ve succeeded in winding a few people up and derived much amusement from the fact that they clearly can’t tell that I’m taking the piss.

So to pre-empt any criticisms that may be levelled at my short film ‘Into the Earth’ I should perhaps state here and now that yes, the sound quality is supposed to be a little shaky, degraded-sounding, semi-mechanised and in places lacking clarity. It’s intended to create some distance between myself and the piece, and, more importantly, to echo the themes of decay and degradation in the story itself (which, incidentally, has been rejected by the half-dozen places I’ve tried it so far, although no-one’s been more specific than that it’s not for them). And yes, the footage is supposed to be repetitious: that’s the whole point. It wasn’t that I only had a couple of minutes of footage and was feeling lazy.

Enjoy!

   

Going Soft on the Hard Sell – and Michael Jackson Continues to Cause Trouble

christophernosnibor2 Comments
A few days on from the publication of ‘Before the Flood’ I should probably be using this blog space to really push it. After all, as this is a little self-produced pamphlet that I’ve funded myself, I run the risk of not only growing despondent over my lack of success, but out of pocket to boot if I don’t shift at least enough units to break even (which at the time of writing, I haven’t). However, I really struggle to bring myself to do the hard sell. I think I’m generally pretty adept at self-promotion – on-line, at least, if not so much in real life – but it’s ventures like this that make me realise why a career in marketing wasn’t for me.

One reason I often flag when it comes to promoting a new publication is because a) I really don’t feel all that comfortable pushing it b) I’m always well into the next project (or, as is more usual, well onto my next project which is already three on from the one that’s hitting the virtual shelves. I’m certainly not one to sit back and take a breather when one thing’s complete. Life’s too short.

In the case of ‘Before the Flood,’ there are pieces I’m writing that are demanding a lot of focus and energy that are taking shape and I’m also putting a fair amount of time into the Clincality anthology, which is showing all the early signs of being a truly amazing book. Watch this space…

In addition to all of this, I can’t help but be continually distracted by the media insanity that continues a little over a week since Michael Jackson’s death. I know, I should just turn it off, but I have my reasons, because, believe it or not, does actually affect me. Well, sort of.

How does it affect me? You’ll not find me playing my Jacko albums on a loop for the next few weeks (I have none, and while I think ‘Billie Jean’ is a great song, don’t really rate his work), or bawling in the street, that’s for sure. However, the situation has actually presented me with something of a problem. I recently received a draft manuscript for a novel that Clinicality Press are planning to put out later this year or early next. I love the book, but thought a few changes would be of benefit. I suggested changing the name of one of the characters to Mike (or Michael) Jackson. The author agreed to this, and a fortnight ago passed me the next draft containing some substantial revisions based on my suggestions. Days later, what happens? So, does the book stay as is, or it is better to revise again? One of my friends suggested that the name should be changed to Paul Gadd to see if it has the same effect, and while I’m tempted, I wonder just how freaked out I’d be if the book does have some kind of curse?

So, anyway, the pamphlet’s out (and can be obtained via the link below), there’s another on the way in September, there are still copies of ‘Lust for Death’ available, and I’m still deciding what to do with ‘THE PLAGIARIST: THE MOVIE.’ As I said, never one to sit back and take a breather….


http://christophernosnibor.co.uk/aboutus.aspx

Today’s the Day… Flooding the Market

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Today is the
day that ‘Before the Flood’ is officially unleashed. Although the same
number of pages as its predecessor, ‘Lust for Death,’ it’s priced
fractionally cheaper in line with reduced production costs. This is not
indicative of lower quality, however. An epic monologue on existence,
art and life, ‘Before the Flood’ is a unique prose piece. This pamphlet
is strictly limited to 25 copies and can only be purchased via THIS
LINK: http://christophernosnibor.co.uk/aboutus.aspx

Get it while it’s hot…..

CN

Nothing like a good conspiracy theory… the Michael Jackson media frenzy

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Well, it’s true, there’s nothing like a good conspiracy theory, and this is nothing like a good conspiracy theory. However, I thought I’d spin something out just for the hell of it and see how it went down, fully expecting it to get completely buried in the media blizzard that has become the death of Michael Jackson. And while it might not be setting the blogosphere alight, ‘Is Michael Jackson Really Dead? And if so, Could Kanye West be to Blame?‘ is proving to be by far the most successful thing I’ve written to date, at least in terms of hits. And while I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this – after all, having been thrown together in a couple of hours, I don’t think it’s my best writing and I’d much prefer a piece like ‘Blogging and the Myspace Generation: Gatecrashing Someone Else’s Therapy Session‘ to be widely read, or, better still, to be recognised as a writer of fiction, I really oughtn’t grumble. After all, all any writer wants is to be read…

Everything that’s wrong with today’s world – part 1 in a very occasional series

christophernosniborLeave a comment
Sometimes, when I’m lost for ideas or looking to add new contacts who might be interested in my work, I’ll peruse MySpace profiles. Sometimes I’ll go through my friends’ friends, others I’ll check out the recommendations. MySpace also has in its homepage a tab for ‘people’ (along with celebrity updates (which include insightful status updates from the likes of Russell Brand – ‘Just posted a new vid on…’ and Lady Gaga ‘I love korea!! Xoxo’), music, etc.). I’ve no idea how these people get selected, but occasionally check their profiles either by clicking in error, or through curiosity. They never fail to disappoint in their inherent shitness. Bland, egotistical posers one and all, and the majority are borderline retarded.

The sad fact is that these are average, everyday people, and as such largely representative of our society (at least the 16-35 age bracket). This short article marks the first in an occasional series. When I’m feeling lazy or pressed for time, rather than try to summon the bile and expend the energy trying to create an articulate critique regarding an issue that, for me, represents things that are wrong with the world today, I’ll simply copy and paste someone’s ‘about me’ blurb to make my point by way of illustration.

So, to kick off, I would like to introduce you all to Mr Edward Nigma…

Sports dnt like many take 2 much effort lol!!! i like all motor sports mostly bikes tho.(well watchin them) Scared Of spiders a hate the things more than 4 legs just aint normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol Happiest When in bed out with ma mates or on ma bike or just messin about doin random stuff lol. Things i hate!!!!!!!!!!! a hate traffic cops(fat pricks in a shiny car wae hats on WANKERS!!!! ) , sundy drivers, gd weather bikers and scooters. Tattoos most of ma tattoos have a reason bhind them well apart from ma clown it was just random lol and a must add they r addictive and a want more!!!!!!!!!!! if any 1 wants 2 buy me some just say lol .